In my post,
The Curious Case of more than just Trayvon Martin, I made the statement that I HATE racism. Yes, that is true, but there is something else that I hate just as much, and that is sexism. There are many things and issues in this world and our society that bring me lots of sorrow and hurt, but I would have to say that the two things that push my buttons the most and I have the most passion about are racism and sexism. Why do these things grab my attention and stir me so over other issues? I'm not quite sure why exactly other than the fact that they have both been prevalent in my life and that they are BOTH WRONG But boy howdy do they ever push my buttons!. Before you continue reading, I want to encourage you to read my post all the way through. Some of my points do not come into full fruition until later in the post. And please bear with me, I am not trying to be sexist myself by expressing my views, I am speaking as a woman and through my personal experiences. I will address my thoughts on things men have to deal with and struggle with as well towards the end. So sit tight, and as always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback, so please share!
I have had this thought before, but today a classmate of mine reminded me of the sticky and hypocritical position women are frequently put in. As females, women are put in this interesting position... I feel like there are basically two categories that people (specifically men) put women into whether intentional or not as categories that women should fall into. Women are either the Wonder Woman type or the Snow White type. The Wonder Woman is the hot and sexy, strong, powerful, in-control, achiever who can be those things as long as she is "hot" and super nice to look at. The Snow White is the beautiful, kind, nurturing, attentive, naive, server and she can be those things as long as you have your prince to come and take care of you. Women are easily labeled one or multiple of the following: the loud mouth, controlling, bitch, slut, promiscuous, home-wrecker, back-stabbing, whore, weak, emotional, frivolous-spending, fashion-obsessed, gossip-crazed, bad driving, complaining, mind changing, dumb, ditsy, neat freak, prude. As much as we want to say it's not true, more women are labeled in this way than men. I'm not saying that some women do not posses these characteristics, I am saying that overall I feel like women are very easily labeled things before men ever are. And we all know that some men possess these characteristics as well.
Women are often seen as objects, as things, as an item of lust or infatuation, we are looked upon like property or a prize, something that men can win and brag about how they "scored us". We are seen as weak, or at least weaker than men, we are labeled as emotional and unstable, we are expected to fill specific roles in society and have certain jobs over others. A woman should be a teacher, nurse, stay at home mother, cook, house cleaner, hair dresser, interior designer, manicurist, seamstress, secretary, waitress just to name a few over the more male jobs like the doctor, lawyer, judge, politician, car mechanic, police officer, firefighter, EMT, businessman, engineer, cars salesmen, an athlete, a stock broker. Women are not seen as good as athletes ( look at my Title IX post for more on this) and women sports are not very often televised or supported like their male counterparts. Women politicians are often mocked by political analysts about their appearances and what they're wearing, then come the snide remarks about their political views and statements. On average women are paid less than their male counterparts in the work force. I could continue this paragraph on and on, but I have to draw my line somewhere... sigh.
Moving on to even more personal experiences. I am being honest when I tell you that these are things that have actually happened to me personally or I have been called to my face. No lies here. I have experienced an exceptionally high amount of negative or inappropriate comments, slams, derogatory gestures, been grabbed at, whistled at, called after like an animal, called names like fat, a pig (piggy), been oinked at, prude, a snob, self-absorbed, ugly, rude, stupid, a whore, a stupid ass bitch, racist, a liar and dumb. (Those are the ones that come to mind at the moment, but I am sure there have been others.) My intelligence, judgement, capability, political opinions, athletic ability, driving ability have all been questioned or shallow comments have been made about them in some regard because I am a woman. My degree choice (previously nursing, and currently social work with which I will be graduating with a BSW) has been commented on as being a good degree for women. I've been told that they [women] fit there [in social work] better.
Now with regard to men... I am by no means saying that men are not put down and that they are not given unreasonable standards and expectations by society (and women), because I think they are. There is a man card just as much as there is a woman card. I think that a big and significant difference is that men have not experienced the oppression that women have. Women have not been oppressing men for years and years, men have oppressed women. Men were not denied basic rights, were not prohibited to participate in things like voting, politics, athletics, women were. Men, as a whole have not been looked down upon and suppressed so women can be made great, women have been suppressed. I obviously am not a male, but will share with you some observations and conclusions I have made. Men have been given unrealistic standards just like women have. They are always supposed to be the main financial provider and when they aren't something major is wrong. Men are supposed to be solid and stoic and not express their emotions. Men are supposed to be smart, strong, love sports, and not be too attached to their mothers. This list goes on and on as well. My beliefs and dreams for women's rights is not so that men's rights need to be changed or taken away, women should just have EQUAL rights and opportunities.
Despite everything, I am proud to be a woman, and I am proud to be who I am. I am in no way perfect, and never will be (nowhere close) and do not claim to be. I am not unbreakable, and while I claim that I have thick skin, words and actions can still hurt me. I struggle with self- image issues and accepting myself exactly for who I am and not who I think I should be, and at times these negative statements and actions can wear me down. With all the negative things that have been said or done to me I have come to a rather new conclusion, a conclusion that I am particularly fond of at the moment. This conclusion being: The people that said those things or did those things obviously do not know me, do not know who I strive to be and most importantly, who I was created to be.
I am many things, but I am not many of these negative things I shared that people have said about me, labeled me to be, or labeled me because I am a woman.
Let
ME tell
YOU WHO I AM:
I am Maija Charlotte King. I am first a Christian, and a daughter of the Most High King, I am a daughter, a sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend, lover, pray-er, server, athlete, competitor, runner, listener, dancer, care taker, eater, talker, movie watcher, picture taker, traveler, encourager, shower singer, texter, dreamer, fruit lover, rollerblader, teacher, marathoner, animal lover, stretcher, happy chaser, learner, babysitter, relaxer, reader, hiker, star gazer, beach goer, worker, swimmer, cheerer, tripper, startler(jumpy), laugher, blogger, adventure seeker, kite flyer, game player, walker, smeller, butterfly lover, and woman! These are the things that I identify myself with.
Even though these are the things that I identify with, they are not my identity. My identity lies in Christ Jesus and Christ alone. And this truth is what brings me comfort and assurance in all areas of my life. The good, bad, happy, sad, uncertain, difficult, exciting and every moment in-between. I rest in knowing that my identity is not in myself or anything of this world, but in Jesus. I know that Jesus died on the cross in my place taking all my sin upon Himself and then Resurrected on the third day. Nothing I can do or not do will ever change that; no work of mine will change God's love for me. In Christ I am forgiven. In Christ I am free. God accepts me in completion. He accepts me exactly as I am; my faults and failures and all. So when I say that I am a Christian I also mean that I can say these things in confidence: I am God's child, I have been redeemed, I have been saved, I am complete, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, I am God's workmanship, I am enough, I was created in God's image, I am significant, I am a witness, I am God's beloved, I am a citizen of heaven, and I have not been given a spirit of fear, I have been given a spirit of power, love and self-discipline. "My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge." -Psalm 62:7
Some (not all) scriptures I referenced: Ephesians 2:10, John 3:16-21 Philippians 4: 13, John 1:12, Colossians 2:10, Romans 8:37, Philippians 3:20, Acts 1:8, 2 Timothy 1:7,
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I am totally against sexism and can be long winded when I talk about it. So just be aware that this is the first of a couple of posts I plan on writing this week on the topic. (You should also take a peek at a previous post
XX. I am a Girl. I am a Female. I am a Woman ).
As always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback, so please share. Your responses mean a lot to me. And if there is ever anything you would like clarification on or would like to discuss something more please feel free to ask me!
Thanks for reading readers :) Happy thoughts!
